So you are in a long-term relationship and after being together for a while, you’re now trying to figure out how and why things have taken a turn for the worst.
You were so in love at the start and now you can’t stomach being around each other. After going through so much turmoil, you realize that relationships are extremely hard to maintain but unsure of why. All you want to do now is get out, but it’s just as important to understand how and why you got in.
They Make the World Go Around
Intimate relationships are so important in our life, yet we go into it unprepared. But if we created and kept track of a relationship resume, we could have more successful personal relationships now and in the future.
The purpose of the Relationship Resume is to chronologically detail your past relationships to determine patterns, trends and reach a conclusion whether you are improving with each newer relationship, neutral, or things have gotten worse. The resume is for you and your eyes only. You can share it at your own risk.
Embrace the Past
The resume is used to learn more about you and try to insure you are learning from past mistakes in order to have more successful relationships moving forward. It focuses on evaluating, understanding, and accepting the past. Freedom happens once we embrace the past, which helps us build a progressive future.
So how do you write a Relationship Resume? Here is a sample:
Name: Keisha Doe
Phrase to Describe You: Cute, successful and love to have fun.
Experience: 2 serious relationships; 3-yrs single, consistently dating & in non-relationships
OBJECTIVE Moving Forward: To learn more about myself and improve from past relationships in order to achieve success in future relationships. I love to have fun and want to meet someone who will do so with me.
Then you do the following:
1. Write down the name of your first relationship and dates you were in that relationship. (Add pictures if you like)
2. Include a brief summary of how you met and how things ended.
3. Indicate your objective with this relationship. If you had no objective write that down.
Then you jot down some bullet points about each relationship:
- –the good: what you liked about the person
- –what you didn’t like about the person (the bad)
- –the ugly: what you could not stand
- –what was the deal breakers that caused either of you to break things off
- –what if anything you would have done differently
Write & Repeat
You repeat this step for all of your past relationships. If you dated someone at different periods in time, write it as a separate entry as you would a job that you may have worked from 2007 – 2010 and then went back in 2012. Don’t hold back!
Be honest when you write this and look for common themes. Are the same mistakes being repeated either on your part or the other person? And with each newer situation, are things getting better? Look for red flags and deal breakers, and remember they should never be repeated.
You may be thinking, this will take up too much time. Well a successful and happy relationship can be more important than that dream job or home. So why not put forth the effort and take some time to get it right? A wise man once said, “if you learn from your mistakes, you can find the ‘perfect’ mate.” Learn and understand why things happens and teach your children those same lessons.