Let’s be real:
Discipline doesn’t feel like love when you’re the one receiving it.
But it’s one of the most honest forms of it.
I learned that as a kid.
I’m learning it again now as a father.
When Kids Feel Structure, They Feel Safe
Discipline isn’t punishment.
It’s leadership.
It teaches consequences, not control.
It sets expectations.
And it gives kids the boundaries they’ll one day learn to set for themselves.
When you skip structure because you’re tired or afraid of conflict, you rob them of learning how to deal with the real world.
You don’t have to be harsh, just clear. And consistent.
I Didn’t Always Get Spanked, But I Got Corrected
I was raised by my grandmother.
And even though I didn’t get many beatings, I got disciplined with words…loud ones. Tough ones.
But always followed by lessons, love, and guidance.
She taught me to lead with integrity, respect people, and stay out of trouble.
I didn’t always like it, but I needed it. And it stuck.
Now I’m Raising Two Kids of My Own
My son and daughter are smart, independent, and stubborn, just like me.
They’ve been in Montessori schools their whole lives.
They ask “why?” about everything. And honestly? I love that.
But I still lead with discipline.
Not out of frustration, but from love.
I tell them the truth. I admit my own mistakes.
And when they mess up? I hold them accountable — not to control them, but to build them.
5 Grounded Ways I Practice Discipline:
- Silent Timeouts
→ Not everything needs yelling. Silence can speak louder and give space to think. - Let Them Wait
→ Delayed feedback builds patience. Sometimes the waiting is the lesson. - Build Deep Trust
→ I’m not trying to be their friend. I’m trying to be their safe space. And that earns respect. - Set Clear Rules (Visibly)
→ Rules aren’t vague. We write them down, revisit them, and enforce them with calm, not chaos. - Model What I Expect
→ Discipline starts with me. If I lose it, how can I expect them not to?
Discipline Isn’t Control. It’s Love with a Backbone.
Your kids won’t remember every moment you snapped.
But they will remember how safe they felt under your leadership.
That’s the win. That’s the point.
As Nas said:
“Oh my Lord, discipline for the win — I just go for it
It’s a trend for these men to die on their own sword.”
I’d rather raise kids who can lead themselves,
than ones who never learned how to follow structure with love.
